NOVEMBER 2011
First customer joked that he would come back for me if he found a
million dollars. It's going to be an awesome closing shift in lumber.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
SEPTEMBER 2011
A customer complimented my ankle brace--suggestively.
Dear 60-something-year-old Man and Friend,
No, I actually don't want to go to the lakeside bonfire you invited me to and while it was kind of you to invite my boyfriend along (albeit probably just to see if I was available), I don't like that you suggested he go fishing while I sit alone with you around a presumably "romantic" fire.
No, I really don't want your phone number and when I said that one boyfriend was enough, that wasn't the point at which you should have encouraged me to take on another boyfriend--namely you--with the justification that I would only have to worry about the young boyfriend cheating. Sure, you were probably "just joking," but you were overtly lecherous enough for me to be able to tell that if I had agreed to get your number, you would have been totally serious.
Amused, uncomfortable, and surprised by your absurdly inappropriate boldness,
Heather ♥
P.S. I had a line waiting on you to finish shamelessly flirting, douche-bag.
A customer complimented my ankle brace--suggestively.
Dear 60-something-year-old Man and Friend,
No, I actually don't want to go to the lakeside bonfire you invited me to and while it was kind of you to invite my boyfriend along (albeit probably just to see if I was available), I don't like that you suggested he go fishing while I sit alone with you around a presumably "romantic" fire.
No, I really don't want your phone number and when I said that one boyfriend was enough, that wasn't the point at which you should have encouraged me to take on another boyfriend--namely you--with the justification that I would only have to worry about the young boyfriend cheating. Sure, you were probably "just joking," but you were overtly lecherous enough for me to be able to tell that if I had agreed to get your number, you would have been totally serious.
Amused, uncomfortable, and surprised by your absurdly inappropriate boldness,
Heather ♥
P.S. I had a line waiting on you to finish shamelessly flirting, douche-bag.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
AUGUST 2011
Dear Various Customers at Various Jobs Over the Years,
1) I don't talk too fast: you hear too slowly.
2) Yes, I have indeed lived here all of my life.
Destroying the way you view your fellow southerners,
Heather
P.S. Learn to listen faster, 'kay? ♥
Me: Anything else for you today?
Customer: Not unless you want to get married.
C: Do you know Heather?
Me: What do you mean? Does she work here?
C: Yes.
Me: I'm the only Heather in the store.
C: Then you must be the one all the guys are talking about.
I honestly wish I was making these up.
Dear Various Customers at Various Jobs Over the Years,
1) I don't talk too fast: you hear too slowly.
2) Yes, I have indeed lived here all of my life.
Destroying the way you view your fellow southerners,
Heather
P.S. Learn to listen faster, 'kay? ♥
Me: Anything else for you today?
Customer: Not unless you want to get married.
C: Do you know Heather?
Me: What do you mean? Does she work here?
C: Yes.
Me: I'm the only Heather in the store.
C: Then you must be the one all the guys are talking about.
I honestly wish I was making these up.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
MAY 2011
Dear Unsightly Customer,
Overalls without a shirt of any kind--you seriously thought this was appropriate for being in public? We can see your underwear, good sir, and we do not appreciate it. Properly observe the shirt and shoes policy next time, please.
kthxbai ♥
The Home Depot Cashiers
So I say a lot of generically friendly things to customers at work.
I said "Try not to get too hot" to this one woman in the garden center and had to repeat it several times because she apparently has hearing difficulty.
"That's sweet! No one ever says anything nice to me."
...did she just think I called her hot?
Dear Unsightly Customer,
Overalls without a shirt of any kind--you seriously thought this was appropriate for being in public? We can see your underwear, good sir, and we do not appreciate it. Properly observe the shirt and shoes policy next time, please.
kthxbai ♥
The Home Depot Cashiers
So I say a lot of generically friendly things to customers at work.
I said "Try not to get too hot" to this one woman in the garden center and had to repeat it several times because she apparently has hearing difficulty.
"That's sweet! No one ever says anything nice to me."
...did she just think I called her hot?
APRIL 2011
Week 2 at The Home Depot:
- One of the nude models from figure drawing class was one of my customers.
- There are a lot of lesbians.
- Taught a male coworker that bisexuals dating the opposite sex and then in addition someone of the same sex without their girlfriend or boyfriend's permission still counts as cheating.
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful woman in the store?"
Really? Really, you couldn't come up with a better and less ridiculous pick-up line? Dear 40-something-year-old men, please don't hit on your young cashiers. It's flattering, but also creepy.
Week 2 at The Home Depot:
- One of the nude models from figure drawing class was one of my customers.
- There are a lot of lesbians.
- Taught a male coworker that bisexuals dating the opposite sex and then in addition someone of the same sex without their girlfriend or boyfriend's permission still counts as cheating.
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful woman in the store?"
Really? Really, you couldn't come up with a better and less ridiculous pick-up line? Dear 40-something-year-old men, please don't hit on your young cashiers. It's flattering, but also creepy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)