A Two Creep Day

Before 9 AM on Monday, I had a customer that had been passing by stop, rake his eyes up and down me a couple of times, and say "Damn, you look good in those capris, frumpy socks and all."

During the second half of my shift, I was cutting blinds for a group of 3 customers. Two of them seemed to be nice enough men, but the third was standing behind me, leering. I looked over my shoulder, caught his intense gaze, and asked "How are you today?" out of awkwardness because, quite honestly, the guy seemed strung out on something.

His reply: "I find it so sexy when a woman knows her way around machinery."

So today I was cashiering--I'm now in a department, but still pick up cashiering shifts occasionally for the hours--and a middle-aged man approached me.

He said, "I'm looking for something that cooks. And cleans. And cleans floors."
"We don't have anything like that," I told him, realizing where he was going with this.
"Do you know what does all that?" he asked with a smirk.
"No," I replied, hating humanity.
"A housewife."

Dear Sexist Customers,
Why do you tell cashiers these stupid, ignorant jokes? FEMALE cashiers. WHY? Do you honestly think that women will find you amusing? Y'know, one day I'm not going to be able to force a soul-crushing chuckle to prevent it from being unbearably awkward.
Congrats for reminding me once again that most people aren't progressive,
Heather
P.S. I told him we don't have any housewives in the store. Not any that aren't customers.

10 months of working at Home Depot and I have to say that I've reached the point of assuming that half (or possibly more) of the customers will say something that will bother me for at least one of the following reasons:
1) They'll be creepy and this sometimes includes uncomfortable flirting.
2) It'll be a pet name and they feel entitled to grant me one because I'm a young woman. Ex. Sugar, baby, sweetheart, honey, love, etc.
Or 3) They'll make a sexist joke or comment. Women are so indecisive, haha! Women love shopping and spending all my money, haha!

GENERALIZATION ABOUT AN ENTIRE SEX, HAHA HA-LARIOUS.

Every time I politely pretend to be amused by their behavior, I feel a small part of myself die.

DECEMBER 2011

"Jesus loves you and if you don't love him back, it don't do no good." ~Customer wearing a cowboy hat with a cross on it

NOVEMBER 2011

First customer joked that he would come back for me if he found a million dollars. It's going to be an awesome closing shift in lumber.

OCTOBER 2011

So a customer joked that I was Heather Locklear (because we have the same first name) and that he had died and gone to heaven. He told me to be the one to resuscitate him.

SEPTEMBER 2011

A customer complimented my ankle brace--suggestively.


Dear 60-something-year-old Man and Friend,

No, I actually don't want to go to the lakeside bonfire you invited me to and while it was kind of you to invite my boyfriend along (albeit probably just to see if I was available), I don't like that you suggested he go fishing while I sit alone with you around a presumably "romantic" fire.

No, I really don't want your phone number and when I said that one boyfriend was enough, that wasn't the point at which you should have encouraged me to take on another boyfriend--namely you--with the justification that I would only have to worry about the young boyfriend cheating. Sure, you were probably "just joking," but you were overtly lecherous enough for me to be able to tell that if I had agreed to get your number, you would have been totally serious.

Amused, uncomfortable, and surprised by your absurdly inappropriate boldness,
Heather ♥

P.S. I had a line waiting on you to finish shamelessly flirting, douche-bag.